It’s reconnecting to play and remembering the things that give you joy. It’s taking a nap, watching “Big City Greens” or listening to Beyonce as you commute because Beyonce is always the right answer. It’s setting boundaries and saying no when your gut tells you to say no even as your mind is trying to put it all together (I see you!). It’s turning off notifications, it’s walking outside with a colleague or your team for a meeting. Sometimes it’s a breath, it’s a candle, it’s a call with a someone who makes you smile. Self-care is simply giving yourself what you need so that you can pour into others from the saucer, not the cup. Take some breaths.įriend, that breath was self-care. I know, right? We’re just going to pause right here. But because I was constantly pouring into others from my cup as a demonstration of love, care, commitment, responsibility, and obligation, I thought I was doing something, doing “the work.” Until that woman told me I was acting from a place of depletion and doing so was not the demonstration of love, care, commitment, responsibility, and obligation that I thought. (Say no?)įeeling depleted was my normal, my default operating system. And, honestly, none of that was happening consistently. See, I thought self-care was about candles and Epsom salt baths and exercise and sleep and staying hydrated and saying no. I had been in the habit of pouring into others from the cup because I wasn’t even aware that I should have had a saucer in the first place. If the saucer was empty and I had to pour into others from my cup, that was depletion. She said that whatever was in the teacup was for me and me alone and whatever spilled over into the saucer was what I had to share with others. She had me imagine that I was holding a teacup and saucer (old school). Before the pandemic shutdown, I had a conversation with a woman who was talking to me about the state of depletion. My second offering goes back to the teapot. Those self-talk strategies that you’ve been sharing with your students also apply to you. Simply, don’t beat yourself up for messing up, missing a step, not knowing everything. My first offering to you is to be gentle with yourself and give yourself “grace” (yet another term that some folks are struggling with because IT has also become a thing). You won’t ask about this, of course, because then somebody will know you don’t know – and as an educator, not knowing something is a cardinal sin. It has become one of those THINGS that everybody is “doing.” And as THE THING to do, it may also be generating guilt and shame if you are someone who is unclear or unsure about self-care, or believes that it isn’t for you. Because today, in my adult mind, the image of a teapot and steam is pointing me towards the critical importance of self-care. I’m sure-or at least I’m hoping – that this had some connection to whatever the term for “social and emotional learning” was back then. However, you may not distribute additional copies to friends and fellow teachers.I remember being younger, a little person, probably in Pre-K, and singing this song: Unlimited copies for you and your students.
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